|Credit: Janusz Gawron (sxc.hu)|
Diclaimer: I do promise this is the last time i'm being shitty galau. Please slap me if next time you see me act as a dumb girl, just-like-now. This is my affirmation.
What did happen to me? I thought it was only monthly hormonal things. But it was not.
Yes, i was panic, closer to that number. I'm still no body and feel so damn l-o-n-e-l-y. Those pathetic feelings made me lost. I was easy to be sad, lose my passion doing everything, and was hopelessly pesimistic. I was trapped in my comfort zone and thought that my dreams will come to me with no efforts. But, i do know it is impossible.
Oh well, the love things, which i don't know what love is actually. Poor me, been wasting my times guessing "something" that i'm not sure whether it's into me or not. Or suddenly being pesimistic and believed that i'm cursed to live with no soulmate. I did enjoy the misery and let people laugh at me (i bet you are laughing at me just now, yes?).
I'm enough with this. Where is smart, strong, and cheerful emy? Could you tell me where she is? Emy doesn't need 'clown' to entertain herself, because she's supposed to be that 'clown'. She laughs loud and makes people around her happy. She runs high reaching her dreams and no one can stop her. She has no fear and not easy to give up. I miss her so much.
Sometimes, i feel somebody stole my thunder. But my besties said, maybe i let them stole mine. Yes, maybe.
Now it's time for run. Find my thunder and take it back home.
No more tears, no more self pity. All i have to do is thank God for the blessings. Yes, i'm blessed, alhamdulillah.
Run Em, RUNNN! You don't have many time! Your dreams are waiting for you!
Btw, while running i will yell these magic words: "I can make it through the rain! I can stand up once again! On my own! And i know that i'm strong enough to mend!"